The summer has been hot, and sunny, and my soul has been lifted and stretched and bouyed by the warmth and light.

It’s time to move on, to leave behind a few things that are no longer working, to face new directions and walk new paths. I find it hard to realise, in the moment, that some things aren’t working, that the momentous effort and struggle I pour in is showing me that this isn’t the way. To pivot and breathe and turn around to a new, less thorny road is hard, but that first step away is almost delicious. To ease, to calm, to all the gentler paths.

So much identity is tied up in work, and comparison, and wanting to be the best. But I’m tired of the grind, and the grind is tired of me. What is it, that I want now? How am I different, with all the knowledge and experience of these years? I value freedom, flexibility, curiosity. Trying to push myself into rigid spaces is not where those things lie.

I have a few thorns still holding on from which to extricate myself. Projects, last vestiges of the relentless push, things it is time to set aside. I want to keep hold of some parts of where I am, but weave them into something soft to hold me. The step back, the quiet confidence, slowing and allowing for more, but different. A nice fade into obscurity. Relaxing and flowing wherever that takes me, wherever is easy.

Step by step by step. The change is curiosity, possibility, calm, strength. Purposeful floating. Intentionally exploring, wherever the path takes me, and the acceptance to turn away from those thorny thickets, rather than powering through. Light and warmth in the summer days. Light and warmth in my soul.